Thin privilege and misogyny

Thin privilege sort of exists in this weird space.  Because it’s so tied up in the cultural definition of femininity.  Not that men can’t have thin privilege…but it’s not nearly the same.  It always seemed to me to be a sort of backhanded privilege, a reward for staying in your place and not trying to demand real privilege.

http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2010/10/06/for-women-it-pays-to-be-very-thin/ Most of you have read this study.  Women are rewarded for being thin in a way men aren’t.  We’ve seen this plenty of times; attractiveness is a much bigger issue for women than for men by an order of magnitude.  Now there’s no question here that thin women do better in the world than fat women here.  See previously linked study.  At the same time…it’s the privilege of being reminded, day after day, that your goal in life is to please men.  And you happen to be good at that goal and be rewarded for it.

Thin privilege is hearing “don’t do strength training, you’ll get too muscular and guys don’t like that.”  It’s hearing “you’re too pretty to be queer/trans/other non-normative group.”  It’s being told “well he can’t help himself, you’re just so hot.”  And realizing you just can’t win.

Thin privilege does exist.  Looks privilege does exist.  But it is all too often the privilege of the favored slave.  It’s too often the privilege of pitting women against each other in the societal quest to please men, instead of forging out on their own.

Musings on rape, notrape, birthrape, and other variants

So the blogosphere has been raging with a discussion over whether “birth rape” should qualify as rape.  For those new to the discussion, birth rape is the trauma of forced medical procedures during childbirth.  There has been much discussion over whether this nonsexual intrusion deserves the term rape.

I have been a victim of what I refer to as notrape.  Which is what many people refer to as molestation or sexual assault.  My – abuser? rapist? – did not engage in any penetrative activities with me.  While this encompassed a number of things, the one that I remember strongest (perhaps because it was one of the first violations) was our first kiss.  The one he forced out of me, holding me down and not letting me go until I kissed him.

I was also subject to repeated unnecessary medical intrusions as a child.  I remember very clearly being told to strip to my underwear so someone could poke and prod at my skin for blemishes.  And you know what?  Those two incidents weren’t that different.

Both shared the same fundamental property.  My bodily integrity was less important than what someone else wanted, or thought was necessary, or whatever.

This is the fundamental problem in our society.  With the advent of feminism we are starting to recognize that sex and consent are about personal rights and bodily integrity, rather than about a transfer of property or goods.  But we need to broaden this.  Every feminist has heard that sex crimes are about power, not sex.  We need to broaden these power crimes beyond sex, because it should be equally a crime to violate a person’s basic physical integrity no matter what the reason.

We need a new word for these power crimes, one that goes beyond sex, beyond penetration.  Suggestions?